


Broken

by mandylou67



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2298659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandylou67/pseuds/mandylou67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil finds Melinda late at night upset and offers comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

It was late and Coulson was doing a last sweep of the bus before turning in. It had become a habit he couldn’t shake, just making sure the rest of the team were settled before he could sleep. So far all had been quiet but as he approached the bar he could see the door ajar and the light on. He moved to the doorway and glanced in, there was May sitting at the bar. She was pouring a drink from a half empty bottle of whiskey and it didn’t look like it was her first. She rocked slightly in her seat and grabbed onto the bar to steady herself. For a second she just stared at the mirror in front of her, brows creased, deep in her own thoughts. Then she sighed, lifted the glass and slung the whisky back in one. 

“You might want to slow down a bit, leave some for the rest of us!” Coulson joked as he walked towards May. “You got room for another?”

Startled, she turned and looked at him. When he saw the look on her face his smile left and he immediately regretted his jovial manner. 

“I’d rather be alone.” she replied bluntly and turned back round. He drew up a chair next to her and sat down.

“What’s going on May. How much have you had?”

“I’m fine, Phil. I’m just having a drink” she spat at him.

“Melinda, whatever it ....”

“I said I’m fine!” and she slammed her glass down on the bar, stood up and walked across the room, leaving her back to him. 

There were few times that Coulson could recall ever seeing May like this. She rarely let down her guard, let things get to her, but he could see that something was obviously eating at her. He stood up and made his way over stopping just behind her. 

“Talk to me May, tell me what’s wrong?” 

She went to move away and was about to protest when he grabbed her elbow and pulled her back. 

“Don’t try and tell me you’re fine. You’re not fine.”

May stood silently, biting her lip. She usually kept things to herself, she preferred it that way. No complications, no explanations, just straight forward silence. It was just easier. But for some reason this had got to her. This had hurt. She hated that she needed to talk, to share but Phil was the only one she trusted enough to let in. She took a deep breath,

“It’s nothing really, just something Skye said.” She instantly regretted her words, now there was no going back. He could feel just how uncomfortable she was, it was almost tangible. He waited for her to continue.

“Back in the hotel, just before the attack on Cybertech, I found her in her room, upset about Ward. You remember, she thought she should have let Deathlock finish him, that she’d been too weak, she blamed herself for him getting away. “

“Yes, I remember.” Coulson replied.

“She told me that it would be nice to be like me, show nothing, ...... feel nothing, .... how did she put it, be like a statue” she whispered. He felt her whole body tense as she spoke the words. He slowly turned her to face him but she just looked to the floor. 

“Is that how they see me Phil, empty, unfeeling,” she rasped, “Just because I don’t show it doesn’t mean I don’t feel, doesn’t mean I don’t care.” She looked up at him, her eyes welled up. “I care .... I care a lot. I just ... I just can’t let it out, I can’t let it..., if I don’t hold it back, I ... I...” a single tear rolled down her cheek as she shook her head and shut her eyes. She hated this, letting go. He reached out and took hold of her arms. He couldn’t bear to see her this way. It broke his heart. He thought of May before Bahrain, when she was open, loving, warm. He’d tried to help her back then, but she’d shut him out. She was buried now, behind her facade, behind the wall she had built to save what little of her remained. She opened her eyes and looked straight at him.

“Maybe they’re right .... maybe I’m just broken.”

“You’re not broken! You were damaged, you were hurting. You can’t go through what you did and not be changed by it. But the fact that this hurts you tells me you’re healing now. Since you’ve been on this team, I’ve seen a side of you I didn’t think I’d find again. And Skye, she just looks up to you, she sees how strong you are, she wants you to look at her that way. I’ll always be here for you Melinda, I’ll never leave you. You’re not broken, you’re just mending.”

He pulled her into him and held her tight. She didn’t resist. After what seemed like minutes, he drew back and smiled.

“Now, how about that drink.” He said quietly. She smiled back at him,

“We might need another bottle.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to SassyCassy1401 for being my beta and inspiration!


End file.
